How to deal with self-judgment & insecurity

I'm too lazy, I'm not focused enough, I'm too shy, I'm too egotistical, I'm too fat, I don't know what I'm doing in life, I'm just not good enough... I should be doing more. I should have it figured out by now... If people REALLY knew me, they would see right through me.

Some days my self-judgement is NON-STOP. I've found that the only thing that helps me find relief from my own torment is self-compassion, treating myself with kindness, as I would treat a close friend.

Kristin Neff, one of the pioneers of Self-Compassion research and training, says that self-compassion has 3 components to it:

1. Treating yourself with kindness as opposed to self-judgement. For example, saying to yourself, "It's OK, I'm here for you..."

2. Being actively motivated to help yourself. Asking what you need in the present moment, and then trying to give that to yourself.

3. Connecting with the common humanity of your situation. Understanding that everyone is imperfect and you are not alone in your suffering.

I've found these to be useful steps for calling up self-compassion. Next time you hear the voice of the inner critic, try going through these 3 steps.

And if that doesn't help, send me a message and I will send you a hug through the airwaves. 🤗

And if you have another strategy that helps you deal with self-judgement, I'd love to hear it! Leave a note in the comments below!